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Carolyn Hax: a decade following the breakup, it is time for you to get the antidote to your venom

Carolyn Hax is away. The after first appeared Jan. 14, 2005.

Dear Carolyn: my better half and I also divorced bitterly a decade ago. Last 12 months he made remarks and did things that allow me to (as well as others) understand he continues to have emotions for me personally. This is done even though he remarried and it has an infant on your way. It absolutely was well known that he married away from economic prerequisite.

Him I would inform their spouse, their only remark had been, "Don't inform her that way. once I told" It sounded like he had been searching for a real method out of their wedding. Immediately after, their spouse and I also had a disagreement and we told her the way I felt.

Now this "churchgoing, Christian" guy has convinced their spouse i am crazy and made everything up. I am ashamed We ever paid attention to him now he is hated by me inside your. I have tried many times to inform their spouse the truth that is whole but she does not want to pay attention.

The thing is he and I also have actually young ones together and I also experience their hatred and hostility. How can this situation is handled by me?

— Wanting the Whole Truth to Be Told

Wanting the Whole Truth to Be Told: No, the issue is that you’re an ongoing way to obtain the hatred and hostility.

Listed here are absolutely none of the business cuban dating at that is hmm-hmm. Your ex-husband’s present marriage. 2. Why your ex-husband entered their present wedding. 3. How your ex-husband currently seems about their present spouse. 4. What your ex-husband informs their wife that is current. I’m too frustrated to consider it today.

You aren’t telling a “truth,” entire or else. You have got hunches, conjecture, wishful reasoning. Here’s the reality: Your marriage finished decade ago.

The easiest way to take care of this case — perfect for your kiddies — would be to keep carefully the divorce or separation civil, but, oops, you blew your opportunity here.